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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25998640">not without you</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/sapphictomaz/pseuds/sapphictomaz'>sapphictomaz</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The 100 (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Episode: s07e11 Etherea, Etherea, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, its the murphamy trapped on etherea au</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 03:20:24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>16,678</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25998640</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/sapphictomaz/pseuds/sapphictomaz</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Murphy and Bellamy find themselves trapped on a strange planet, and are forced to contend with more than just their own survival. </p><p>Canon spoilers up to 7x11.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Bellamy Blake/John Murphy</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>71</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>not without you</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>hello! thanks for checking this out. before we begin, a few things:</p><p>-there are spoilers for canon up to 7x11. at the point of writing, 7x12 has not aired.<br/>-**minor warnings in this fic for religious concepts/imagery, like the concepts of hell and whatnot.<br/>-the title is taken from "the lakes" by taylor swift. </p><p>that's all! hope you enjoy :)</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Murphy’s not sure how they got here. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He’s standing in some sort of bathroom in Sanctum’s palace, looking at himself in the mirror as he splashes water on his face and tries to wash off the Prime makeup. It isn’t doing much. The water falls back into the sink, tinted black, causing dark streaks to run down his face and making it look like he’d been crying out the very same black blood that now runs in his veins. How Daniel Lee did this every night, he doesn’t know. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>At some point or another, Bellamy had wandered inside, and now he’s leaning against the doorframe and staring at him. A thick grey cardigan is wrapped around his shoulders and his eyes, though soft, are tired. “Long night?” Murphy finally asks, when it’s clear that he’s the one who will have to speak to break the tension. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You could say that,” Bellamy replies, and he shifts, readjusting his position. He’s clearly uncomfortable, though the reason why is a mystery to them both.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Murphy sighs, giving up on his attempts to scrub away the makeup. Instead, he grips the edge of the sink with both hands, leaning onto it heavily as a sudden exhaustion settles in his bones. “Long night,” he repeats. All pretenses are dropped. He exhales, long and slow, his breath fogging up the mirror and clouding up his view of Bellamy. The energy leaves him and he lets his head hang down, choosing to stare at the ground rather than face his own judgement. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It’s true - it </span>
  <em>
    <span>has</span>
  </em>
  <span> been a long night, and an even longer day. He’d woke up that morning convinced he was going to become the next Prime. It didn’t matter if he and Emori had to pretend to be brother and sister to do it - they’d secured themselves a lifetime of immortality, no strings attached. If their friends didn’t want to participate in the plan for peace that he’d negotiated with Russell and Josephine, then a living without any fear of death would have to do. Except, then Clarke had revealed herself to be alive, and suddenly Murphy was marching down the streets of Sanctum, impersonating a man he’d never met and saving everybody from certain death two times over, because somewhere along the line it seems he’d started to care about more than just survival. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>And now he’s here, in a bathroom near a bedroom in a palace, overlooking the ruins of Sanctum. It’s not all in pieces. Some of it remains, and some of the people do, too, but a massive rebuilding project will have to be underway. Tomorrow, Clarke is going to wake the sleeping prisoners on the Eligius ship, bringing in yet another faction of belief into the mix. Russell, the last remaining Prime, is locked up. Some of his loyal followers still remain, as well as the Children of Gabriel, the remnants of Wonkru, and the innocent citizens of Sanctum who did nothing wrong but be in the wrong place at the wrong time. The palace itself is vacant, save for him and his friends. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>And now - he’s here. It makes perfect sense, but it doesn’t, at all, and Murphy’s keenly aware that he hasn’t moved away from the sink. He’s just coming to terms with the fact he’ll have to sleep on the floor because there’s no way he can make it to the bed, not now, when a gentle hand is placed on his shoulder. “Sit,” Bellamy whispers, and suddenly there is a chair behind him that he’s being pushed into. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Murphy makes no move to protest this, letting Bellamy gently lower him into the chair without saying a word. He blinks, trying to regain some of his pride and say something, anything, but then there’s a wet cloth on his cheek and Bellamy kneeling in front of him, wiping off the remaining makeup with a grace neither of them knew he had. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>They stay like this in silence, for a few moments longer, while Murphy tries to find his clarity. He hadn’t realized that Bellamy had left the room at all, and he doesn’t know where the chair or the cloth came from. Still - he supposes, in the end, it doesn’t matter. “Thank you,” he mutters.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Of course,” Bellamy replies. There’s nobody else around, yet they’re both speaking softly as if they’re afraid of being heard. Bellamy continues in his work until he’s satisfied, wringing out the cloth in the sink. As he’s looking away, Murphy glances at himself in the mirror, his stomach turning as he looks at the red, raw skin on his face. All the makeup is gone, but he doesn’t look like himself. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thanks,” he says, again, because he has nothing else to say. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bellamy smiles, but his eyes are sad. “Look, Murphy, I’ve been meaning to tell you something.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A chill sweeps over the room and Murphy tenses. “I’m sorry,” he says, and though it hurts to apologize, though he’d been so </span>
  <em>
    <span>sure</span>
  </em>
  <span> he’d been doing the right thing, he doesn’t think he can take the lecture Bellamy’s no doubt about to give. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, that’s-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s not good enough, I know,” Murphy cuts him off, and then he’s standing up from the chair and walking to the other side of the room, desperate to work off the tension in his muscles and get some distance. “Abby’s - gone, I </span>
  <em>
    <span>know</span>
  </em>
  <span>, but you have to believe me, I didn’t want this. I had a plan and a way for us </span>
  <em>
    <span>all</span>
  </em>
  <span> to live, and to have peace, and to avoid this war. Weren’t you the one always telling me, back on the Ring, that I wasn’t ‘worthless?’ That I could contribute? Well, I did. I tried to save us all. How was I supposed to know Clarke was alive?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Murphy-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I didn’t want </span>
  <em>
    <span>this</span>
  </em>
  <span>!” he cries, whirling around to face Bellamy once more and gesturing outside the palace, to the streets below, where if they listen closely enough, they can still hear the wails of Sanctum’s citizens. “I didn’t want this bloodshed, this death, I just - I just wanted peace, okay? So, I’m sorry for that. I’m sorry for how this all worked out.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bellamy doesn’t say anything for a second. He only folds his arms, swallowing his own emotion. “I wanted to say I’m sorry,” he finally says, and this - this is not what Murphy’s expecting. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re - what?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry,” Bellamy says, and then he pauses, carefully thinking over his words for the first time in his life, “for what I said in the field, with Josephine. I’m sorry I called you a traitor. I didn’t - I didn’t mean it, not like that, but that doesn’t really matter, does it?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And no - Murphy supposes it doesn’t. “It’s okay. Thanks.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bellamy scoffs, but he nods. “So,” he says, louder, now, “what’s next for you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>What a question, </span>
  </em>
  <span>he thinks, mostly because he has no answer to it. “I don’t know,” he says, sighing, the exhaustion washing over him once more. “Not a lot, I guess.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Seems to me that you have a whole palace to run.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A pit forms in Murphy’s stomach, one of twisted guilt, and he shakes his head. “No, I - I can’t.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why not?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“They know I’m not Daniel,” he says. “Emori got away with it, and she can keep pretending to be Kaylee if it’ll help the peace, but they know I’m not him. You saw it when Daniel’s partner kissed me, thinking I was him. He knows it’s a lie. He’s surely told all the other believers by now, so it’s best if I just disappear.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bellamy nods, pretending to understand, but Murphy doesn’t mind. He doesn’t really get it, either. “So, you’re available, then?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>In another world, in another life, the phrasing of this question would make Murphy laugh - but now, in this one, he’s just tired. “Sure.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Tomorrow morning, I’m going with Octavia, Echo and Gabriel to see some kind of stone related to something called an anomaly? I’m not really sure. The point is, we could use an extra person.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“An anomaly,” Murphy repeats, dryly, his brow arching. “Really?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bellamy smiles, and he hates how it fills his chest with warmth. “C’mon - it’ll be fun.” He’s moving closer, then, and they’re standing close to each other again, </span>
  <em>
    <span>too close, </span>
  </em>
  <span>but neither move away. “After all this - come be a pioneer with me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It would be easy to say no. It would be easy to return to his old routines of fading into the background, of letting the others do the hard work and the heavy lifting, of working out the best way to make sure nobody notices him no matter how much time goes by. But then Bellamy’s looking at him, with the softest expression he’s ever seen, and he’s all too painfully aware that nothing is ever </span>
  <em>
    <span>easy</span>
  </em>
  <span> when it comes to Bellamy Blake. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Fine,” he mutters, but a hint of a smile is pulling at his lips. “I’ll come with you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Perfect,” Bellamy says, and then he walks by him, out the door, their shoulders brushing for only a second. Murphy turns, looking into the mirror and watching his reflection leave. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He’s alone, for only a few minutes, before there’s another presence in the room again and Emori’s standing in the doorframe. She’s brought a different energy into the room. For a second, she tries to lean against the wall, but then straightens her posture and nervously places a hand on the frame to steady herself. “Hi,” she finally says. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How are you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He sighs, finally raising his head and turning around to face her, so he can see her in person and not just as clouded reflection in the mirror. “Fine,” he says. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She’s taken out all the fancy clips and let her hair down, and now as she exhales she runs her fingers through it nervously. “Good,” she says, pausing, and then, “I wanted to talk to you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I figured,” he says. “Let me guess - you want to keep being Kaylee?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Emori blinks, as though she wasn’t expecting him to know already. “I want to help rebuild Sanctum,” she says. “And if pretending to be Kaylee helps me do that, then - I think it’s the right idea.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Then you should,” he agrees. “The true believers, they’ll follow you, and if you, I don’t know, denounce the rest of the Primes or something like that, the rest of Sanctum’s citizens should, too.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She smiles, and in this moment, as she stands in the same regal dress she’d just saved all their friends with, she’s never looked more like herself. “They’d follow Daniel, too.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Murphy’s facade cracks, for just a second. “I can’t,” he says. “Daniel’s partner, his husband, he’s - he knows.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Zev,” Emori replies, nodding. “That’s true, but you could convince him, I’m sure.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His stomach knots and twists and he quickly shakes his head, dismissing that idea entirely. Really, he’s not sure why he’s reacting so vehemently, but the thought of lying to Zev and pretending to be his dead lover makes him feel sick. “No,” he says, firmly. “I think - it’s better if you do this alone. Call me another false god, if you want, but you’re on your own.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It’s harsh, and he knows it, so he’s not surprised when her eyes narrow. “John,” she says, carefully, “am I on my own with everything else, too?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His gaze flickers to the floor, but he nods, subtly. “I think we’ve both been, for a while.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>There’s another pause. “You’re right,” she says. “What are you going to do, then?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m going with Bellamy tomorrow,” he replies, and though the plans are new and he doesn’t really understand why he agreed to them in the first place, he does his best to sound confident. “And after that, who knows?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Her lips purse, but then she nods and relaxes, tension she didn’t know she was holding slipping off her shoulders. “Okay,” she says. “Good luck, John.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Despite everything, despite what’s just occurred between them, she’s smiling, and he is, too. “Thanks,” he says. “You, too.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>With one last look, she turns and leaves, beginning the next chapter in her life. Murphy watches as she goes, an odd sense of relaxation settling over him. It’s all sorted, somehow. He’s going to go with Bellamy tomorrow, and after that, it doesn’t matter. It doesn’t </span>
  <em>
    <span>have</span>
  </em>
  <span> to matter. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He’s not sure how exactly he got here, but with a sigh, he supposes it could have been a lot worse. </span>
</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>
  <span>That’s how he finds himself walking through the woods of Sanctum, following Gabriel through a winding path to something he keeps referring to as an </span>
  <em>
    <span>anomaly stone. </span>
  </em>
  <span>Murphy’s got no idea what this means, or why they’re going, or what they’re hoping to accomplish, but he knows that Octavia seems incredibly invested, and by extension, so is Bellamy. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Still, he doesn’t complain. He walks a little ways behind Bellamy, with Echo behind him. He’s holding a gun that he doesn’t really want to be holding, but without it his presence on this mission is most obviously unnecessary, so he keeps a tight grip. It’s all he can do to keep moving forwards without tripping on any of the protruding tree roots and rocks on the ground, so he doesn’t even notice when Echo picks up her pace and starts walking next to him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Murphy,” she says, in greeting. Her face is completely void of emotion, impossible to read. Despite the six years they spent up on the Ring together, Murphy’s never quite been able to figure her out. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hi, Echo,” he says. They fall into an easy stride next to each other, though the longer it goes on, the more purposeful and calculated it feels on her part. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She clears her throat, and then speaks. “Why are you here?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His eyes widen, and he’s unsure of what to say. “Bellamy asked me to come.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Bellamy asked you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah. Is that a problem?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She looks away, fixing her eyes in front of them, where Bellamy’s deep in conversation with Octavia. “No,” she finally says. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Echo, if something’s wrong-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s all I needed to know,” she says, cutting him off and picking up speed, so he’s now at the back of the group and she’s stuck herself in the middle. Murphy doesn’t know what any of that was about, and for a moment he considers quickening his own stride to catch up with her and find out what’s bothering her, but he doesn’t know what he would say if he did. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Murphy stays at the back of the group, alone, for the rest of the journey. He thinks he catches Echo looking back at him a couple of times, but every time their eyes are about to meet she looks away. </span>
  <em>
    <span>I’ll ask her about that later, </span>
  </em>
  <span>he resolves, because soon they’re at Gabriel’s tent in the woods and he’s stepping inside. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gabriel immediately kneels down to the floor, shifting around rugs and papers as the other four members of the group stand around him. “I have to tell you,” he says, “I’m very excited about this.” He goes on, talking about symbols of some kind and the so-called ‘anomaly’ gets mentioned a couple more times, too, but Murphy’s already tuned out. He can’t be too sure, but he hadn’t counted on all this science as part of being a pioneer. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The floor lifts up, revealing a secret room below. Gabriel’s immediately clambering down inside of it. Bellamy hesitates, glancing over at Murphy once, who gives him only a shrug of reassurance before they all follow him down the ladder and into the dark room. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>As soon as they’ve all made it down, a light flickers on, illuminating a large orb covered in symbols Murphy doesn’t recognize. “The tattoo,” Octavia says, as if he’s supposed to understand that that means. He doesn’t ask, though. Instead, he stares at the stone, feeling truly and massively out of his depth. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What </span>
  <em>
    <span>is</span>
  </em>
  <span> it?” Murphy whispers before he can stop himself. It turns out not to matter. Nobody answers his question - instead, Gabriel starts talking about some drawing and then he’s pressing symbols on the stone, eyes alight as though he’s sure something life-changing is about to happen. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What happens if you’re right?” Bellamy asks, and Murphy fights the urge to say </span>
  <em>
    <span>right about what? </span>
  </em>
  <span>This, also, turns out not to matter. Gabriel doesn’t answer this question, either. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Octavia steps up to the stone, pressing two fingers on the last symbol of some so-called code. A couple seconds tick by, each one dimming the excitement in Gabriel’s eyes. “What, exactly, were you expecting to happen?” Murphy asks. Still, nobody answers him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The room shakes, then, and Bellamy’s grabbing Murphy’s arm as if to steady them both, even though they aren’t in danger of falling. Murphy looks down at the hand in amusement, but then Bellamy’s drawing it away before he himself even noticed what he’d done. Really, Murphy’s about to bring attention to it, except then a shimmering green light appears above their heads and the moment is forgotten. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What the hell is it?” Echo cries, as they all race up the ladder back to the tent. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s what </span>
  <em>
    <span>I’m </span>
  </em>
  <span>saying,” Murphy mutters, but he isn’t sure he wants an answer this time. He’s seen a lot, through everything, but this? He’s got no explanation for any of this. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>What happens next happens far too quickly for him or anyone else in the room to comprehend. The tent flap lifts, and a woman enters. Murphy wonders if they’ve summoned a demon from hell by accident, except then she hugs and stabs Octavia, in that order, and Octavia herself disappears into the green light before it all recedes and they’re left exactly how they were. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>They’re left exactly how they were, except Octavia is gone, a stranger is here, and Bellamy is racing outside the tent and into the woods, desperate for the days in which </span>
  <em>
    <span>my sister, my responsibility </span>
  </em>
  <span>was just that simple. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Somewhere along the line, he’s lost his grip on the gun and now it’s lying flat on the floor next to his feet. He’d kick it away, or pick it up, but all his muscles are frozen and he doesn’t know what to do with himself other than stare. Echo’s got the strange woman restrained, though it seems she’s unconscious, somehow, and Gabriel’s busy studying the tattoos on her face. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Echo, despite it all, locks eyes with him. None of this feels real, and he has no grip on the events that have just occurred, but a sort of mutual understanding seems to pass between them. “Go,” she says. “Get Bellamy. We’re fine here.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He hesitates, for only a second, and then he nods, darting out of the room as fast as he can. The gun stays where it fell. Nobody says anything as he runs out. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bellamy hasn’t gone far. He’s on his knees, just a little ways off, his hands coated with the blood of his sister that has vanished without a trace. “Bellamy,” Murphy calls, but the only response he gets is the sound of sobs hanging in the air. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He’s not sure why he raced out of the tent so fast, because now he’s not sure what he should do. His foot catches on a tree root and he almost falls flat on his face as he approaches Bellamy, but he steadies himself, somehow, and moves closer still. “Octavia,” Bellamy says, talking to nobody but the breeze. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey, Bell,” Murphy says, softly. He’s standing right behind him, now, but still he hesitates. He remembers the night before, standing in Sanctum’s palace as he’d felt exhausted and overwhelmed, and how Bellamy had been able to help him with no more than a touch on the shoulder. Murphy breathes in, sharply, and then he lifts a hand, ready to place it on Bellamy’s shoulder in comfort and solidarity and, if the situation should call for it, do nothing more than simply be there. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>A tree branch snaps from somewhere behind them. Bellamy doesn’t notice, and Murphy shrugs it off, turning his attention back to the kneeling man in front of him as he steadies himself once more. His land lowers, and he opens his mouth to speak, to say absolutely anything, but his fingers never make contact with the soft cardigan wrapped around Bellamy’s frame. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He’s flying backwards before he even hears the explosion. A ripple of energy tears through the clearing, kicking up dirt and leaves and throwing Murphy completely off his feet. He doesn’t have time to yell or do anything to alert those still inside the tent before his back </span>
  <em>
    <span>slams</span>
  </em>
  <span> into the ground, his head hitting a tree root. A burst of pain shoots up from his leg, through his now hazy vision he realizes it’s landed on a rock and been sliced open. Blood pours from the wound onto the rock and onto the ground, and Murphy’s head swims. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Bellamy!” he manages to say as he props himself up and flips over onto his stomach, hands grasping at the dirt as he tries to pull himself away from whatever’s attacking. Bellamy doesn’t answer. Even his sobs are gone, leaving the clearing hauntingly quiet. “Please,” he says, to no one in particular. His leg burns and his head pounds, his vision and awareness threatening to give out at any second, either from the blood loss or concussion he’s sure he’s got. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>His escape attempts prove futile. Something grabs his wrist, lifting his arms up, and then he’s being dragged across the forest floor. He lets out a small cry, just one, blinking furiously to see who has a hold on him, but every time he manages to look above him there’s nobody there. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Bellamy, </span>
  </em>
  <span>he thinks again, but he can’t seem to be able to verbalize it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He blinks. The world around him cuts out, far too suddenly for him to do anything about it. In hindsight, he thinks, he really should have known that coming out to the woods today was a bad idea. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It doesn’t matter. There’s nothing to be done. Murphy’s good as gone. He’s only aware that Bellamy’s not next to him, that there’s a chance he made an escape and he’ll be fine, before he’s not aware of anything at all. </span>
</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>There’s nothing around him. He’s in darkness, but it’s hot, and he’s alone. He tries to speak, but no sound comes out - instead, the sound of a crackling fire below him fills his ears. It’s bright, suddenly, but he can’t shield his eyes. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>A pause - and then - </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>He falls, a scream tearing out of his throat as he gets closer and closer to the pit of eternal fire below him. Murphy’s always known he’s destined for hell, but he’s not ready to see it, to feel it, not again, not so soon - </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Murphy!”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>His body falls in the flames. He burns, and he screams, and he thinks that if this is where he’s ending up, then none of this is fair. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Murphy!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His eyes open. The flames vanish from his skin, his fingers digging into the loose dirt of the ground. Bellamy’s next to him, a wild look in his eye, though there’s obvious relief in them, too, as their gazes meet. He still can’t focus on anything, but he thinks there’s someone standing above them. The pain in his leg is as sharp as ever. Echo, Gabriel, and the woman who had stabbed Octavia are nowhere to be seen. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It’s pretty obvious, to all involved, that they’re screwed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He blinks, trying to regain some hold on his surroundings, but when his eyes open again there’s a bright green light above their heads and they’re both being dragged towards it. Bellamy’s shouting, trying to escape, but all Murphy can think is that maybe, in the end, this is hell. Maybe they’re both doomed. Maybe it was all for nothing. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The light envelops them. His stomach drops, and he’s falling, and then - he isn’t. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>When the green fire dies down, they’re somewhere completely different. </span>
  <em>
    <span>I’m still dreaming, </span>
  </em>
  <span>Murphy decides, because there’s no way that any of this is real. Instead of the soft dirt underneath him, he’s now laying on a white, pristine floor in a room that looks too sterile and clean to be real. There’s people all around him, some of them wearing full-body suits and one wearing a white robe. Another one of those anomaly stones, looking like a mirror image of the one Gabriel had shown them, is displayed in the middle of the room, right next to them. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It doesn’t make any sense, but, Murphy guesses the stones have to be some kind of transportation device. It would explain how the strange woman had appeared out of nowhere back in the tent, and how they’ve now been taken to this strange place, but as to where they are or who any of these people are, that he has no idea. Hell, he thinks, would be more straightforward than this. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Vaguely, through the haze of his awareness, it comes to attention that his leg is still bleeding and he’s getting blood all over their clean white floor. “Sorry,” he mutters, but nobody seems to hear him or pay any attention to the mess. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bellamy’s quicker than him, like he always has been, and is up on his feet. There’s a knife in his hand, from who knows where, and then he’s moving, attacking their captors without giving them a chance to speak. Murphy can do nothing but watch as they’re taken down, one by one, all of them defeated by the element of surprise. One falls right next to them, their suit hitting the floor with a </span>
  <em>
    <span>thump, </span>
  </em>
  <span>their face never revealed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Murphy,” Bellamy says, his knife glistening with fresh blood as he keeps his eyes focused on the remaining survivor in the room, the one wearing white. “Are you alright?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>If he didn’t know any better, and if they weren’t in a life-threatening situation, the genuine concern in his voice would have been touching. “Yeah,” Murphy manages to say, biting his tongue to stop himself from crying out as he shakily hoists himself up onto his knees, and then stands. His injured leg threatens to give out beneath him, even as he takes his weight off it, but he’s faced worse than this. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bellamy smiles, hesitantly, but then there’s a sound of people approaching and his eyes widen in panic and determination. He lunges forwards, grabbing the man wearing the white robes and he traps him in his grip, holding the knife to his throat just as more people enter. Another man with white robes enters first, followed by more people wearing the full-body suits. In between them, held at both her wrists to restrain her, is - </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Octavia?” Murphy says, incredulously. She’s wearing white now, too, despite clearly being their prisoner. “But you were just - </span>
  <em>
    <span>how?” </span>
  </em>
  <span>For someone who had been stabbed not ten minutes earlier, she’s standing surprisingly tall. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Let her go,” Bellamy says, holding the knife closer to the man’s neck. He’s doing his best to take control of a situation neither of them can comprehend, that much is clear, but despite his best efforts the newcomers to the room don’t seem fazed at all. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The man says something else, and so does Octavia, but Murphy doesn’t really hear it. His leg burns, and his head swims, and all of this feels far too complicated for him to be a part of. Forget what he thought last night - compared to this, Daniel had it easy. “The hell are you talking about?” Bellamy says at one point, and yeah - that pretty much sums it up. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Bell, it’s okay,” Octavia says. “I won’t let you die to save me.” This is somewhat amusing, Murphy thinks, because there’s no way that would convince Bellamy not to risk everything for his sister. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>As he’s thinking this, one of the men, who seems to be a leader of sorts, steps forwards and starts pressing symbols on the stone. A green light appears behind them when he’s done. Based on what he’s managed to grasp of their situation, this light, or anomaly, or whatever it’s called should send them back to Sanctum. They only made it to that planet days ago, but Murphy’s never wanted to be there more than in this moment. He can return to the palace, and find something else to occupy his time, and blame all this on some fever dream. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>But - it’s never been that easy, not when Bellamy Blake is involved. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m not leaving without you,” Bellamy says, but Octavia seems resolute. Murphy places a hand on Bellamy’s arm, trying to do his best to comfort him like he never got a chance to, back in the woods on Sanctum, but in the end it doesn’t matter. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>By his feet, one of the men in a suit that Bellamy had attacked starts moving. “I do the shepherd’s bidding,” he says, voice weak, “for all mankind.” With that, he presses a button on his suit, and his body goes limp on the floor. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Murphy doesn’t think. He doesn’t have a chance to. The suit starts beeping, horror dawns on Octavia’s face, and Murphy throws himself forwards, using all his weight to knock into Bellamy and push him out of the way. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Somewhere behind them, there’s an explosion, but he doesn’t even hear it. The green light swallows them first. </span>
</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>
  <span>The first thing Murphy registers is that he’s falling, hard and fast, and hitting the ground hard. His already battered body screams in resistance as he rolls, coughing amidst the dirt and dust that flies up on his impact. Murphy’s leg screams and his head pounds but still, he opens his eyes as soon as the world around him stills, desperate to regain a hold on his surroundings and what exactly has just happened to them. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He remembers being in the white room. He remembers the explosion about to detonate, he remembers choosing an uncertain life through the anomaly rather than certain death, and he remembers pushing both Bellamy and himself through the green light. It’s a dream. It’s all been a dream, or he really </span>
  <em>
    <span>is</span>
  </em>
  <span> in some messed up version of hell, because nothing is adding up and he knows better than anyone that the worst kind of torture is confusion and isolation. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>But then - he opens his eyes. Above his head, the green light is fading, and then disappears entirely. The ground beneath his body feels real and solid, as does the pain in his limbs. “Bellamy?” he calls out, but his voice sounds quiet and strained. He’s met with only silence in response. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He rolls over to his other side, hoping to see more than just trees and rocks, when he’s met with another pair of dead eyes looking right back at him. “Fuck,” he whispers, pushing himself up and scrambling back as he stares at the body. It’s the man in white robes that Bellamy had held hostage with a knife to his neck. Somewhere amidst the chaos and the struggle, the knife must have met its target, because there’s a thin line slashed across the corpse’s neck and blood still falls from the wound, sinking into the dirt and sliding down his white robes. Murphy pulls his knees to his chest, and tries to stand, but his injured leg won’t take any of his weight, so he sits, and he stares, and though he never knew this man, he laments his loss. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Bellamy!” he calls again, after a while, still looking forwards at the body. He’s expecting silence, or to be met with nothing but the chilled breeze once again, but in the distance leaves rustle and there’s the sound of someone approaching. This is enough to break his trance and he looks to his left, unable to hide the smile of relief as he seems a familiar cardigan racing towards him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re here,” is the first thing Bellamy says to him as he gets close. “I came out of the anomaly alone, I thought - it doesn’t matter. You’re here.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Murphy nods, then gestures towards the body. “Yeah, and so is he.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The light in Bellamy’s eyes fades as he turns his attention to the corpse. “I did this, didn’t I?” he asks, looking at the slash mark in his neck. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Must have been when we went through the anomaly,” Murphy replies, “and came - here, wherever here is.” He takes a second, then, to properly look around, now that someone else is focused on the body and he feels he can leave it alone. All around them are trees and dirt, much like the woods on Sanctum, but the near freezing temperatures and steep rocky inclines prove that they are very much </span>
  <em>
    <span>not</span>
  </em>
  <span> on Sanctum. There’s only one sun in the sky. It wasn’t too long that they left Earth behind, but it feels odd. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry,” comes the reply, and for a moment Murphy isn’t sure if he’s talking to him or the body. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bellamy’s kneeling down in front of the body when he turns his attention back, checking for pockets in the robe. “What are you doing?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Looking for supplies,” Bellamy replies, but it seems he’s coming up empty. The only thing he takes is a small bound book, the words </span>
  <em>
    <span>Shepherd’s Passage </span>
  </em>
  <span>inscribed on the front. Bellamy frowns, opening it up and skimming the opening pages, his frown deepening as he reads. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What’s it say?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s a story,” he says, flicking through a few more pages and shaking his head. “It’s about some guy they call a shepherd, and his journey up a mountain.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Murphy’s brow furrows. “That’s what the guy in the suit said, back in that room before he made the explosion,” he remembers. “He said he did ‘the shepherd’s bidding.’”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So it’s a religion,” Bellamy says, standing up and sighing. “We got kidnapped and nearly killed by a religious cult. Great.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, why so serious?” Murphy replies, shifting so he can try to stand, but once again being defeated by his leg. “We </span>
  <em>
    <span>just</span>
  </em>
  <span> defeated one religious cult, we can do it again.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>If Bellamy finds his joke funny, he doesn’t laugh - instead, he focuses on the wince of pain that Murphy isn’t able to hide. “Can you stand?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sure thing,” he replies, but his leg betrays him again and he can’t make it off the ground. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bellamy hums his disapproval at this, and then he’s kneeling next to Murphy, using his knife to cut away the clothing around the wound to look at it. There’s some irony here, he’s sure, at the very same knife that just killed a man now being used to try and help heal another one, but it feels like the wrong time to laugh. Still, as he looks back at Bellamy he realizes he must have lost some time, because he’s tying cloth ripped from the body’s robes around the cut. “You don’t have to help me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>To his credit, Bellamy barely reacts. “Can’t have you bleeding out on me. We have a mountain to climb.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We do?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He gestures upwards, to a tall mountain off in the distance. A few peaks dot the landscape all around them, but this one stands higher than all the rest, silhouetted against the sky. “The green light was focused there,” he says. “So, that must be where the anomaly stone is.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Right,” Murphy says, slowly, staring up at the peak and trying to ignore how delicate Bellamy’s touch is as he does his best with the wound, “slight problem with that plan - we don’t know how to work the anomaly stone.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“One problem at a time, Murphy,” he replies, and it’s clear that he well and truly means that. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Murphy blinks, staring at Bellamy and the pure determination in his eyes. “How do you always do that?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do what?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Keep going forwards,” he says, completely aware that he’s not making any sense, “as if what just happened didn’t happen. As if we aren’t in the situation we’re in. How do you </span>
  <em>
    <span>do</span>
  </em>
  <span> that?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bellamy gives him a small smile, though it doesn’t reach his eyes. “You know how,” he says. “I’ve seen you do it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Not like you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He raises his brow. “I seem to remember it was </span>
  <em>
    <span>you </span>
  </em>
  <span>that saved us last night,” he says. “Couldn’t have done that without some quick thinking.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Murphy sighs. He’s not getting his point across. “Yeah, but - this stuff, it stays with me. It all stays with me. You just - you keep moving forwards, always, no matter what goes wrong.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bellamy’s quiet, for a moment. “It does stay with me,” he finally says. “Everything I’ve ever done wrong. Everyone I’ve hurt.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, you seem to cope with it all pretty well.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s not a bad thing to feel regret, Murphy,” he says, “even when you’ve done the right thing.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He’s not sure what to say to that, and he’s certainly not ready to bring the focus of the conversation onto himself, so he opts for silence until Bellamy’s done as much as he can do and he’s standing. “Come on,” he says, holding out a hand. “Lean on me. It’s getting cold - we need shelter.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It’s true - it </span>
  <em>
    <span>is</span>
  </em>
  <span> getting colder. Still, Murphy hesitates. “Look,” he says, “it’ll be easier if you leave me behind. You can get up the mountain, and get back to Sanctum, or wherever we were before, and rescue our friends.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m not leaving you behind,” Bellamy replies, as if it’s the most obvious thing in the world. He keeps his hand outstretched. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Murphy just stares. He’s not trying to be self-sacrificing, he truly isn’t. “I’m going to slow you down,” he says. “And I don’t know exactly what’s going on, but this feels like a time-sensitive situation.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bellamy has the nerve to roll his eyes. “Don’t be stupid.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“If you would just </span>
  <em>
    <span>listen</span>
  </em>
  <span> to me-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Shut up, Murphy,” he says, cutting him off, and then he leans forwards and grabs his arms. Murphy protests, for only a second, before he allows Bellamy to pull him up and off the ground. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Fine,” he mutters, throwing an arm around Bellamy’s shoulders for support. His leg still burns, and he moves slowly, but not once does Bellamy complain. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>They leave the body behind to decompose in the woods. Murphy realizes that Bellamy’s taken the religious book with them, stealing the gospel that in the end, wasn’t enough to save the man. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Despite it all, he feels some regret for that, but he carries on, anyways. </span>
</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>
  <span>Their first stroke of luck all day happens when they find a cave to take shelter in only a little ways up the mountain. It’s good they do, Murphy knows, because even though Bellamy would never protest or complain, carrying the weight of both himself and Murphy was weighing on him. Murphy feels guilty for this, he does, but it’s not like he didn’t try his best to get left behind and save him the trouble.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The cave is looming and dark, but Murphy doesn’t mind, as Bellamy helps support him into a sitting position, back resting against the wall. “Pretty,” Murphy says dryly, gazing around the large space. Outside, the wind starts to howl, coating the landscape with its chill.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bellamy pulls his cardigan closer to his shoulders, then looks over at Murphy’s thin black shirt, eyes narrowing with slight disapproval. “I’ll start a fire,” he decides, looking around at their very limited supplies. “How’s the leg?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He shifts, trying to get a good look at his own wound. It doesn’t work in his favour. The movement only disturbs it, and he tries to hide the wince of pain that appears on his face. If Bellamy sees it, he doesn’t say anything. “You know,” he says, “it doesn’t feel very fair to me that you made it out of that abduction attempt unscathed. Here I am, not able to </span>
  <em>
    <span>walk</span>
  </em>
  <span>, and you went through the same thing I did and you’re fine. Where’s the justice in that?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A small smile appears on Bellamy’s face, the shadows of the cave and the light from outside both dancing on his face as he works to start a fire. “I’m just lucky, I guess.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, something like that.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Seriously - how’s the leg?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s fine,” he says, craning his neck to try and get a look at it without actually moving it this time. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bellamy’s quiet for a second. “You’re not a very good liar, Murphy.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, that’s just rude,” he mutters, tearing his gaze away from Bellamy and looking at the cave floor, the walls, the ceiling, </span>
  <em>
    <span>anything </span>
  </em>
  <span>else. “I seem to recall saving your life just last night by lying.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Fine,” Bellamy concedes, “you’re a good liar - but not with me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Not anymore.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The implications of this are massive, and Murphy could get into it. He probably should, he thinks, because if they don’t do it now they might never get a chance to again, but he doesn’t know where to start. He’s </span>
  <em>
    <span>tired. </span>
  </em>
  <span>He’s always so, so tired, and surely, he thinks, Bellamy would understand that more than anybody. Maybe that’s something else they should get into, one of these days, but once again, he doesn’t know where to start. “It really has only been a day, huh?” he finally settles on. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bellamy lets him change the subject, and for this, he is grateful. “It really has,” he agrees. “I’m sorry, by the way. When I invited you to come with us this morning, to see the anomaly stone, I didn’t think we’d be...well-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Going </span>
  <em>
    <span>through</span>
  </em>
  <span> the anomaly stone?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah,” Bellamy agrees, laughing softly. “I didn’t see this one coming.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Murphy pauses, nervously clasping his hands together and picking at the skin around his nails. He doesn’t like just sitting there with nothing to do as Bellamy makes do with their supplies and works on the actual survival aspect of their situation. It’s different here and now, he knows, but it feels like he’s back on the Ring, doing nothing to contribute and watching the world move on all around him. “You don’t have to apologize,” he finally says, filling the silence only so that his own thoughts can stop screaming at him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I got you into this mess. It’s only fair.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t mind.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bellamy freezes, for a second, glancing up to meet his gaze. “Really? You don’t mind?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, I’d rather not be...</span>
  <em>
    <span>here, </span>
  </em>
  <span>wherever here is, but at least it’s interesting.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Right,” Bellamy replies, quickly looking away and returning to the task at hand. “Yeah, for sure, that’s - interesting. It’s interesting.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Murphy’s done something, clearly. He’s said the wrong thing, at the wrong time, as he always manages to do. “Are you alright?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Of course.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, stop,” he says, using his hands to help him shift to sit higher, this time successfully ignoring the pain in his leg. Bellamy’s more important than that. “Maybe you think I’m a bad liar, but you’re an even worse one.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bellamy doesn’t even try to deny it. “Yeah, that’s true.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So are you going to tell me what you’re thinking about, then?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He looks up, again, and their eyes meet. Something’s changed between them, during this conversation, but Murphy feels like he’s missed it, whatever it was. Once again, he feels one step behind. “No,” Bellamy says. “Don’t worry about it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Bell-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Focus on healing that leg,” he says, forcefully cutting him off. “We’re going to need to help each other if we’re going to climb this mountain.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He looks down, tapping his fingers against the knee of his good leg absentmindedly. “You could still leave me behind.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Stop talking like that, okay?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes, sir!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I mean it, Murphy,” he says, and though Murphy can’t bring himself to look at him, he knows just by the tone of the voice that he’s serious. “It’s not happening. We’re doing this, together, or not at all, okay?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He drums his fingers against his knee a couple more times, the soft sound of his skin against the fabric of his pants the only sound in the cave. “Okay.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Great,” Bellamy says, sighing. He’s managed to find a few sticks, but it’s not enough, so now he’s looking out at the entrance of the cave, trying to decide if looking around out there in the cold is worth it. “So, tell me - how’s the leg?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He sighs, long and slow. “Not great - but I’ll be fine.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bellamy stands, moving over to the cave entrance, placing one hand on the wall as he ducks down and looks around. “Okay,” he says, looking back to where Murphy’s still sitting against the cave wall. “I’m going to go see if I can find some stuff to help. Just rest, alright? I won’t be gone long.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sure,” Murphy says, doing his best to fake a smile as he watches him leave. Somehow, as he sits there alone, the cave feels darker and much, much smaller. Still, he rests his head against the wall, feeling the exhaustion from the whole day and their journey to the cave catch up with him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Somehow, he manages to fall into a light sleep, only waking briefly once many hours later. Bellamy’s returned, a fire has been started, and he’s even managed to find some food and water. He’s reclined against the cave wall opposite Murphy, his cardigan pulled tightly around him, and he’s reading the religious book that he’d taken from the body of the man from the other world. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Murphy’s eyes slip shut once more as sleep takes him again, but this time he rests easy with a smile on his face. It’s true that he has no idea where they are, or how they got there, or what their next move is. It’s very true that they might genuinely have no idea how to get back to that white room, or their friends, but he doesn’t mind as much as maybe he should. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Maybe he should be scared, but with Bellamy there with him, he thinks there’s a very good chance they’re going to be just fine. </span>
</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>
  <span>Around a week passes before they even contemplate leaving the cave. Bellamy spends most of the time collecting food and water from various sources around the base of the mountain, or reading from the book he’d taken to pass the time. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Murphy’s not counting, but he thinks it’s been seven days when, as the night falls outside, he comes to his conclusion. “I think we should start climbing tomorrow,” he says, unwrapping the makeshift bandage he’d put on his leg the night before. He’d managed to find enough cloth to change it at least once a day. It wasn’t nearly perfect, but by some miracle his leg had mostly healed, and could now support his weight. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah?” Bellamy says, leaning against the wall across from him, shifting only occasionally to warm his hands over the fire between them. “You sure?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah,” he says. “A week has passed - who knows what’s happened to our friends?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“They can handle themselves,” Bellamy says, but it’s clear that he’s more worried than he’s letting on. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Murphy sighs. “Yeah, but if they need help, then we need to move quickly.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“About that,” Bellamy says, holding up the book, “I think I figured out how we can make it through the anomaly - there’s writing in here, and drawings of those symbols that were on the stone. Based on what’s in here, the place we were at, that white room, is called ‘Bardo,’ and right now, we’re on some planet called ‘Etherea.’”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Etherea,” Murphy repeats, chuckling softly. “What a pretty name for such a barren planet.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bellamy laughs, too, before continuing on. “There’s a list here, of a bunch of planets, and the symbols you need to enter to get there through the anomaly. If we take this book with us, it’ll tell us what to do when we make it to the stone.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s good,” he replies. “So, it has a use, then.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know,” Bellamy says, shrugging. “It was kind of an entertaining read. A good story to pass the time.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Murphy lifts an eyebrow. “Don’t tell me you’re going to start preaching.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Of course not,” comes the reply with a scoff. “But it’s interesting, at the very least.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, go on, then. Tell me the story.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bellamy laughs, but he does tell him all about what he read. The book is about a man called the shepherd, who came to Etherea and did a pilgrimage up the very same mountain they’re climbing now. After spending months trapped during a snowstorm, he finally made it through and went back to found Bardo, a new civilization that would save all of mankind during some kind of war that was to come. “It was very vague about the war,” Bellamy admits, frowning at the book as if the binding cares about its contents. “So, I’m not really sure what that was about.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“A war for all mankind,” Murphy says with a sigh. “Now, </span>
  <em>
    <span>that</span>
  </em>
  <span> sounds familiar.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>There’s a pause, and then he realizes Bellamy’s still frowning. “It does,” he agrees. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Murphy leans closer, warming his own hands with the fire. “It’s just a story,” he says. “Some guy, a long time ago, climbed up this mountain and wrote a story about it, and now hundreds of years later his descendants and everybody else decided it was scripture. Nothing more, nothing less. That’s always what these things are.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How would you know?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Isn’t it obvious?” he asks with a laugh. “Just last week, they were calling me a god. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Me!”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Bellamy smiles, and then he laughs, the sound echoing around the entire cave and filling their chests with more warmth than the fire ever could hope to. “Okay,” he says, once he’s able to speak again through his laughter, “you’ve got a point, there.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Murphy laughs, too, letting the moment take him and forgetting all his anxieties, even just for a time. “The book gave us two good things, though.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Two good things?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, the code for the anomaly stone,” he says, “and confirmation that we can do this.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bellamy stares at him in confusion. “What do you mean?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“If the shepherd, or whoever he was, can make it up the mountain, then we definitely can,” Murphy says. “After all, there was just one of him, and two of us. And he was just a writer. We’re experts at near-death situations.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The embers of the fire crackle throughout the cave. “You’re right,” Bellamy says, quite seriously, despite the flippant tone that Murphy had spoken with. “We can do this.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes, we can,” Murphy says, and as they smile at each other, the world glows a little brighter. </span>
</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Okay,” Murphy calls over the sound of the wind, looking at the flat, vertical rock wall in front of them. “Maybe I was too optimistic before.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It’s early in the morning, or at least, what passes for morning on this strange planet. They’d set out first thing, wordlessly, both of them in an unsaid agreement to make it as far as they could as quickly as they could. Bellamy had scouted ahead, and he’d told Murphy a steep climb was waiting for them, but he hadn’t expected </span>
  <em>
    <span>this</span>
  </em>
  <span>. Instead of the usual path, right in front of them is a completely vertical wall with no obvious handholds to climb up. It’s about twice his height. His leg is healing, but he doubts there’s any way he can jump up. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bellamy had fashioned a makeshift rope during their time in the cave, and he’s holding it now, looking up at the top of the rock wall with determination in his eyes. What the rope is made out of, Murphy doesn’t know - he never did pay much attention in Earth Skills. “No, we can do this,” Bellamy says, lifting a hand to shield his eyes from the sunlight as he looks up. “The shepherd did it, right?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He rolls his eyes. “Oh, yes, that gives me all the confidence in the world.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>All he gets in response is a shake of the head. “Okay,” he says, “this is what I’m thinking - I support you and you climb up, with the rope, and then you drop it down and I’ll use it to get up.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The plan is solid, but Murphy hesitates and glances down at his leg. The wound is covered and doing surprisingly well, but if it were to give out during this, he’d be putting Bellamy in danger. Still, he knows there’s even less of a chance that he could make it up with the rope, so with a sigh, he nods. “Fine,” he says, taking the rope that Bellamy offers. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Perfect,” Bellamy says. The bright smile that he gives is honestly endearing, but Murphy does his best to hide his affection. He’s not about to drop his facade, not yet. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He watches as Bellamy gets into position, then sighs again as he gestures for him to come over and climb. “Are you sure about this?” Murphy asks. He’s not scared, exactly, but something about the image of falling to his death and leaving Bellamy to do this all by himself haunts him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Completely,” he replies, and the light in his eyes proves that he’s sincere. After a pause, he sees that Murphy’s not convinced, and continues. “What is it that you said last night? If the shepherd can do it, then so can we?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re obsessed with this shepherd,” Murphy says, dryly. “He’s not here, you know.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bellamy’s smile only grows. “I know. But are you really going to let him do better than you? Are you going to let a...what did you call him, a </span>
  <em>
    <span>writer</span>
  </em>
  <span> beat you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay, now you’re just goading me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Is it working?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He tightens his grip on the rope, shaking his head with a soft laugh. “Absolutely. Let’s do this.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bellamy gets back into position, and Murphy approaches, letting out a long breath before he begins. The rocks on the cliffside are hard to grap, crumbling right beneath his grip, but Bellamy’s shoulders hold steady underneath him as support, and by some miracle, his leg doesn’t give out. If the wall were any taller, he doesn’t think he’d be able to make it up, but their stroke of luck continues and he’s soon grabbing the top, letting out a grunt as he hauls himself up over the top. His knees hit solid ground, and then he’s up, scrambling to put some distance between himself and the edge so he doesn’t slide back down again. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>His muscles ache, and his heart pounds, but he lets out a laugh anyways as he stays on the ground, rolling over so he’s flat on his back. The black blood in his veins roars with life. Wind rips through the clearing, but it’s no longer too cold or too terrifying. Instead, as he looks up directly into the sun, he thinks it’s comforting. Maybe, just maybe, it could be beautiful, here. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Etherea,” he whispers, staring up at the sky. It’s pretty enough, he decides, to deserve a name like that. It feels like Earth, in a way, in that he’s here, and so is Bellamy, and he’s not sure why he’s ever asked for more. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Murphy!” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bellamy’s voice snaps him back to reality, and he sits up quickly. “Coming!” he calls back, grabbing the rope and moving back to the edge, looking down to see Bellamy’s amused expression. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you going to toss the rope down,” he asks, “or have you decided to leave me here?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, Bellamy,” he says, “don’t you know I would never leave you behind?” His tone is one of light mockery, but beneath that is sincerity, and he hopes that it’s understood. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bellamy manages to make it up the rock wall without too much trouble. The rope’s not the strongest, but Murphy holds to it fast, and soon he’s joining him at the top. “Told you we could do it,” he says as he stands, dusting off the dirt from his clothes. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ll never doubt you again,” Murphy says, and though he doesn’t see it, he knows it earns him an eye roll. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Lots of ground left to cover,” Bellamy sighs, looking up at the peak of the mountain that’s just visible at the edge of the horizon. “We best get to it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They start carrying onwards, but Murphy can’t help but say what he’s been thinking. “I bet the shepherd didn’t make it up as quickly as we did.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bellamy scoffs. “Are you sure </span>
  <em>
    <span>you’re </span>
  </em>
  <span>not the one who’s obsessed with that story?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, I am not </span>
  <em>
    <span>obsessed</span>
  </em>
  <span> - you started this competition.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Really, Murphy? You’re competing with a fictional character?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You asked me to be a pioneer,” Murphy says, pointing a finger at Bellamy’s chest in accusation. “And look where that’s got us. I’m trying to have some </span>
  <em>
    <span>fun</span>
  </em>
  <span>.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bellamy glances over, looking him up and down as they walk side by side up the inclining path. “Fine,” he says, his eyes full of amusement and, if Murphy had to guess, endearment, but he’s sure that can’t be right. “You’re right. We were probably faster than the shepherd.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Told you so,” he replies with a laugh, grinning widely. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But the shepherd </span>
  <em>
    <span>didn’t</span>
  </em>
  <span> have a pioneering companion slowing him down, so, you never know.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The grin slides off his face and Murphy scoffs with mock indignation. “Well, that’s just rude,” he says, but he never breaks stride. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bellamy shrugs. “I’m only kidding. Maybe.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Awfully bold of you to assume you’re the shepherd in this equation,” he says. “Maybe </span>
  <em>
    <span>you’re</span>
  </em>
  <span> slowing </span>
  <em>
    <span>me </span>
  </em>
  <span>down.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Right, because you’d be so far ahead without me,” he replies, gesturing towards Murphy’s injured leg in emphasis. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, that’s not fair,” he says, “without me, you’d be at the bottom of that rock wall, so take that.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bellamy stops, then, and Murphy does too, only because he’s not expecting it. “So, you agree,” he says, and Murphy’s brow furrows.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Agree?” he repeats, his confusion only heightening as he sees the softness in Bellamy’s expression, the moment far more earnest than he was anticipating. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You agree,” Bellamy says, slowly, “that we need each other.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Murphy pauses, swallowing his emotion and anxiety, and failing at both. “Fine,” he concedes, his own voice mirroring the tenderness in Bellamy’s eyes. He’s not lying. He </span>
  <em>
    <span>does</span>
  </em>
  <span> agree, he just never expected having to confront his own feelings, not like this. “You’re right.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The all too familiar feeling of charmed annoyance he often feels when dealing with Bellamy comes flooding back to him. Of course he knows, and of course Murphy does too, but there’s an unspoken rule that they’re not supposed to </span>
  <em>
    <span>say</span>
  </em>
  <span> so. “You win this time,” he says, a weak attempt at a lighthearted joke to break the emotion of the moment, because Murphy’s not sure he can last much longer like this, not without breaking down completely. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Somehow, Bellamy knows him enough to realize this, and he doesn’t push. They both know exactly what’s being left unsaid, but for now, it’s left hanging. This infuriates Murphy, in a way he isn’t expecting, and as Bellamy turns away he wonders if, once again, he’s ruined it. He wonders if he should have said something, or if he should have pressed the issue further and forced them both to confront what they’ve been sitting on for years. For the first time, he thinks maybe it would have been better if he had. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It doesn’t matter. Bellamy’s turning away, and so does Murphy, and wordlessly, they continue their climb. All around them, the nature of Etherea fights for dominance, and as the wind sweeps through skin, it chills him to the bone. </span>
</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>
  <span>It’s not long before they’re eating bugs. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I wonder what they’re called,” Murphy says, holding a small black beetle-like creature between his thumb and forefinger. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bellamy glances over at him, clearly exasperated. “What?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Like, what the proper name for them is,” he says. “Whatever they are, I’m sure they’re not on Earth, so it’s nothing that we would have learned. Maybe those people on Bardo, or whatever, have named them. I just wonder what it is.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why do you care?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Feels respectful,” he says, sighing as he pops the creature into his mouth, biting down and doing his best to ignore the unpleasant taste. “Feels wrong to eat something without knowing its name.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bellamy rolls his eyes, looking back outside at the world. “I really don’t care.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>They’re in another cave, much further up the mountain. Outside, snow is falling, and the temperature only continues to drop. It’s been less than a day, but he can tell that Bellamy’s itching to get back to their climb, despite the storm brewing. Luckily for them, the cave they’d found is crawling with small black bugs that, at least for now, are edible. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ll have to ask them,” Murphy continues. He doesn’t actually care, but he’s doing his best to lighten the mood and to calm a very agitated Bellamy down. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bellamy just shakes his head, dismissing his comment. He’s moved to the mouth of the cave, crouching down by the entrance and gazing out at the path that’s already coated with snow. “We can make it through this,” he says, holding out a hand as if trying to feel the wind. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t be stupid.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m </span>
  <em>
    <span>not</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” he snaps, glancing back at Murphy with annoyance. “It’s not bad right now. We could make it up.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And what happens when the storm gets worse, and we’re stranded up on the path with no shelter and nowhere to go?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bellamy shakes his head, again. “The storm could lessen,” he says. “This could be as bad as it gets.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Murphy sighs, moving to the cave entrance to kneel close to him. “You don’t know that,” he says. “We don’t know anything about this planet.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We have to try.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, we don’t.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We have to get back to help our friends, Murphy,” he says, finally looking away from the outside path and fixing his intense stare on him. “We can’t afford to wait. They might be in danger.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And we can’t help them if we’re dead,” he replies, doing his best to keep his voice soft. Bellamy huffs at this, looking back out at the freezing world. He hesitates, but Murphy knows he can’t leave him like this, so he reaches out a hand and places it on Bellamy’s shoulder in comfort. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>They’re both still. For a second, Bellamy relaxes under the touch, and Murphy thinks they’re going to be fine, but then he tenses once more and their peace is shattered. “No,” he says, firmly, shifting his shoulder so that Murphy’s hand slides off. “We’re going. End of story.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, we’re </span>
  <em>
    <span>not</span>
  </em>
  <span> - you’re killing yourself if you go out there.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You can stay,” Bellamy says, and then he’s moving back into the cave, collecting their supplies with an urgency. “Isn’t that what you always say? You didn’t ask to be a pioneer, and I’m at fault for dragging you into this? Well, you’re free of that, then. Stay if you want. I don’t care. </span>
  <em>
    <span>I’m </span>
  </em>
  <span>going to go save our friends.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Murphy sighs, following him into the cave. “You’re not being reasonable,” he says, and then he pulls on his arm, but Bellamy shrugs him off, more violently this time. “Bell, please,” he tries again, but this attempt has Bellamy whirling around, anger etched deep into his face. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Shut </span>
  <em>
    <span>up</span>
  </em>
  <span>, Murphy!” he snaps, roaring louder than the wind and the snow outside. “You want a chance to be worth something? You want to prove yourself? Here’s your chance! Help me do the right thing, or stay all by your </span>
  <em>
    <span>miserable</span>
  </em>
  <span> self and get out of my way!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It’s a slap in the face, and though Murphy tries to remember Bellamy doesn’t really mean it, it stings. “You’re not thinking clearly,” he tries. “Just - get some rest, and in the morning-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Shut up,” he repeats, and Bellamy’s turning away, again, leaning down to pick up the rope and what little water they’ve managed to find. He’s not paying any attention to Murphy, not anymore. As he moves and scrambles to pick up supplies, loose rocks on the cave floor dislodge, a larger one bouncing back on the floor and knocking against Murphy’s foot. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Murphy knows that if Bellamy leaves, he’s going to get himself killed. Maybe he’s doing what he’s doing out of a place of duty, or friendship, or love, but it doesn’t matter. What he’s got to do is obvious, but as he picks up the rock, it doesn’t mean it’s easy. “I’m doing this for your own good,” he says, but if Bellamy even hears him, he doesn’t reply. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>With a sigh, he tosses the rock up in the air, catches it, and then with what he hopes is just the right amount of force, he brings it down and hits Bellamy on the head with it. He’s not normally strong enough to take him down, not like this, but Bellamy’s not expecting it and he’s already exhausted. Murphy watches as his body tenses after impact, and he staggers, before going limp and crashing to the cave floor. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sorry,” Murphy mutters, gently putting the rock down and watching Bellamy carefully, waiting until he’s sure he’s still breathing before he continues. His leg isn’t completely healed, and it stings as he moves, but he carries on anyways, dragging Bellamy over to the back of the cave and propping him up against the wall. Afterwards, he grabs the discarded rope, tying one end to Bellamy’s wrist and the other to part of the cave wall that’s jutting out. It’s not the strongest it could be, but he hopes it’s enough to contain him, or at least dissuade him from trying to escape. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He steps back, checking over Bellamy once more, just to confirm that he is indeed still alive. He’ll wake soon, he knows, but he can’t help but feel an immense sense of crushing guilt as he looks at his limp form, even though he just saved his life. “Sorry,” he says again, and then he sighs, sitting down against the cave wall just a little ways away from Bellamy. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>As the storm continues to get worse on his left, and Bellamy lays helplessly on his right, Murphy thinks that Etherea might be closer to hell than he’d thought. </span>
</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>
  <span>In hindsight, he really should have seen this coming. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Murphy had fallen into a light dreamless sleep, somehow. He’d woken to the quiet of the cave, and though the storm raged on outside, he’d felt somewhat safe and secure, knowing that even though it had hurt, he’d done the right thing last night and he’d managed to keep them both safe in otherwise horrible circumstances. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Then, he’d looked over to his right, and seen the broken ropes in a heap next to him, Bellamy very much </span>
  <em>
    <span>not</span>
  </em>
  <span> restrained in them. All of their supplies are gone.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Shit!” he says, racing to his feet and the mouth of the cave, looking outside in either direction. It’s next to impossible to see through the thick snow, but he can’t see Bellamy anywhere close to the entrance. Still, it’s clear - he’s gone out there, in a snowstorm, on a suicide mission up the mountain by himself. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Murphy curses again, pacing through the cave for only a second before he makes up his mind. Bellamy’s not coming back, not on his own. If he’s going to save his life, he has to go out there and forcibly bring him back, however difficult that proves to be. He might die himself doing it, but he’d rather have that happen than live, knowing he could have saved Bellamy’s life and not done so. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>If he’s going to save his life, he has to walk through a snowstorm to do it. The choice is obvious. He adjusts his jacket and brings it closer to his shoulders, throws up his hood, and steps outside. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Almost instantly, the snow cuts into his face and he nearly falls down the mountain, ending his chance then and there, but he catches himself and continues the climb. He’s moving against the wind, but he doesn’t let it stop him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Time passes at an indistinguishable rate as he continues his trek. Days could have passed, for all he knows, but he doesn’t give it a second thought. There’s still no sign of Bellamy, so he keeps going, even though snow coats his skin and the cold threatens to break him in two. Sooner or later, the wind is going to get tired of his resilience and knock him off his feet, throwing him off the side of the mountain, but until that happens, he keeps putting one foot in front of the other. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I bet,” he says to himself, both in motivation and spite, “the shepherd never did </span>
  <em>
    <span>this!” </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>He turns a corner of the path, blinking as snow and ice block his vision. He’s about to scream, or cry, or throw up his hands in anger, until in the distance he sees a dark mound standing out amidst all the white snow. The sight of this alone is enough to rejuvenate him, and he </span>
  <em>
    <span>roars</span>
  </em>
  <span>, moving up the mountain path at twice the speed he had before. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It’s Bellamy, unmistakably. “You </span>
  <em>
    <span>idiot</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” he says as he kneels next to him, doing his best to ignore the storm that’s now increasing in strength, as if it  can see that he’s at his weakest. Bellamy doesn’t stir. Crystals of snow cover his face, proof that he’s been out here for far too long. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>There’s no way to tell if he’s even alive, but Murphy’s not willing to give up on him, not yet. He looks down the way he came, knowing that he’d have to drag Bellamy all the way back to the cave if he were to go back. It’s possible, maybe, but far from certain that he alone could bring them both all that distance. He can’t see anything in front of them, let alone any form of shelter, but it’s either go back and almost certainly die, or take a chance. “And you say I’m not a pioneer,” he mutters, grabbing Bellamy’s arms and pulling him along with him as he drags them both up the mountain side. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Their luck is going to dry out. He’s tired. Every step hurts. He’s reopened his old wound on his leg by now, he’s sure of it, but even the drops of black blood on the snow he’s leaving aren’t enough to dissuade him. “We can do this,” he says, head down, pushing onwards against the elements. “We can do this,” he says, a rallying cry against a planet doing everything it can to prove that it’s hellish all on its own. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Just as he thinks that this is it, that this step will be his last, he sees it. Only a small ways away, on his right, is another cave, leading into the mountain. He laughs, loudly, a sound that the snowstorm has surely never heard before. “You see that, Bell?” he cries, and he doesn’t even care that snow hits his tongue and coats his lips, giving its best attempt to silence him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>With the last of his strength, he steps into the cave, pulling Bellamy in with him. As soon as his feet hit ground that’s not covered with snow, he staggers and falls. Still, he’s not done yet. He makes sure Bellamy’s firmly inside, as far away from the storm as he can pull him, and then he turns him over, checking that the body he’s just pulled in with him still has life. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>There’s a second, a dreadful second where he thinks he’s too late, but then he sees him take a shaky breath. The relief Murphy feels is insurmountable. “Fuck you for scaring me,” he whispers, even though he knows nobody is listening. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He’s shivering, quite obviously, and though Murphy didn’t listen to a lot of Earth Skills even he knows that they need warmth. Starting a fire right now feels like an unachievable option, and he himself feels like he’s going to fall over at any second. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>So - he does the only thing he can think of. He lays down, pulls Bellamy close to his chest, and wraps his arms around him. Once he’s got him there, he feels exhaustion take over and his eyes start to slip shut, but he doesn’t try and fight it. Somehow, he knows that Bellamy’s more secure here than he ever was tied up in the ropes. </span>
</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>
  <span>Bellamy’s shifting causes him to wake. Already, he feels better, both from the shelter of the cave and knowing that Bellamy’s not gone off on another suicide quest while he was asleep. He doesn’t want to let go of his tight grip, but then Bellamy shifts again and he relents, freeing him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Murphy?” he mutters, slowly pushing himself up to a sitting position. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s me,” he replies, sitting up as well. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bellamy stands on shaking legs, gazing around the cave. “I don’t - where are we?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“A cave,” he replies with a shrug. “Goes back a fair way - it’s an upgrade from the last one, don’t you think?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His eyes narrow as he looks back at Murphy, and then widen with realization. “You followed me out, didn’t you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Murphy sighs. “I saved your life, you idiot.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bellamy looks like he’s going to protest the name-calling for a second, but then decides against it. “Thank you,” he says, after a moment. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, yeah, we’ll call it even,” he says, standing as well. “Just - don’t do that again, okay? We’re trying to be </span>
  <em>
    <span>better</span>
  </em>
  <span> than the shepherd. We can’t beat him if we’re dead.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Right,” Bellamy agrees, a slow smile spreading over his face. There’s snow still on both of their faces and some in Bellamy’s beard, and though it’s slightly comical, Murphy thinks it’s the best smile he’s ever seen. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Murphy breaks his gaze away, looking around the cave. It </span>
  <em>
    <span>is</span>
  </em>
  <span> quite a bit bigger than the last two they’d found, and as he looks through the shadows, his eyes narrow as he sees there’s more to it. “What’s all that?” he asks, gesturing behind them. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bellamy ventures closer. There’s remnants of old fire pits and other supplies tossed around, clear evidence that somebody, at one point in time, was living here. Towards the back of the cave is a table with more objects, and a photograph, of all things. Bellamy picks it up, blowing off the dust, eyes widening as he looks at it. “No way,” he mutters. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What is it?” Murphy asks, walking over to stand by his side. Bellamy shows him the photograph, but it doesn’t mean anything to him - there’s four people sitting and smiling, and it looks as though they’re a family. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“This man,” Bellamy says, pointing to a middle-aged man in the photo, “his name is Cadogan. He was a cult leader, back on Earth, before the first apocalypse. He’s the one who made the bunker - I saw a video of him.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He made the bunker?” Murphy repeats. “That doesn’t make any sense. That happened a long time ago, so how did his photo end up here?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bellamy taps his fingers against the photo a couple times, deep in thought. “Do you think that Cadogan </span>
  <em>
    <span>is</span>
  </em>
  <span> the shepherd?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Murphy scoffs, but he doesn’t dismiss the possibility. “You read the book, not me,” he says, “but if it </span>
  <em>
    <span>is</span>
  </em>
  <span> the same person, then that means there was an anomaly back on Earth, doesn’t it? Otherwise, how would he have gotten here? He wasn’t on an Eligius ship.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, maybe,” Bellamy says, and it looks like he wants to say more, but then they’re both interrupted. The cave goes on a little deeper, but the pathway into it that just a few moments ago was filled with shadow is now lit up with golden light. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hesitantly, Murphy steps towards it, but he can’t see anything from where they are. “Maybe people still live here?” he offers up, at a loss for an explanation. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Maybe,” Bellamy says, “but if that’s true, we just walked into their home.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“In that case, we better go say hello,” Murphy says, and then he’s walking through to the back of the cave before Bellamy can stop him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Wait-” Bellamy tries, but he’s already moving forwards, giving him no choice but to follow. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Murphy rounds the corner, expecting to see that somebody had lit a fire, but the reality is far more incomprehensible. He doesn’t know how to explain or process what he’s seeing, so he just stares, eyes wide. Bellamy joins him in a second, stepping back in shock as he looks. “What </span>
  <em>
    <span>is</span>
  </em>
  <span> this?” he asks, voice low. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know,” Murphy says with a shrug, unable to tear his eyes away. In front of them are three glowing lights, each one the vague silhouette of a person. They’re all flowing softly, as if moving with the wind outside, or locked in some timeless dance with each other. Behind them is only rock, and he can’t see any kind of machinery that would explain the source of these lights. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Wait - this was in the book,” Bellamy says, suddenly. “The cave of...I don’t remember, but it talked about souls that had ascended? Or something like that.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Truth be told, Murphy doesn’t register anything Bellamy’s saying, because he doesn’t really care. All he knows is that he doesn’t understand what’s right in front of him, and that both haunts him and annoys him. He looks down, seeing a few loose pebbles by his feet, and wordlessly he picks one up and throws it at the lights. It flies right through them, bouncing off the back cave wall and falling to the floor. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bellamy’s staring at him. “What did you do that for?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Murphy just shrugs. “Was worth a shot.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They try for a little longer to find the source of the light, but come up unsuccessful. “This doesn’t make any sense,” Bellamy says after a while. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Look,” Murphy replies after his attempts at looking at the walls for some kind of control device come up empty, “I can’t explain this, but frankly, I don’t care. Let’s just agree to not worry about the weird glowing lights at the back of the cave and sleep in the other half of it while we wait for the storm to die down, okay?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bellamy chuckles, but he nods. “Yeah, alright.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They leave the lights behind. Murphy fights the temptation to throw another rock at it in indignation as they go. </span>
</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>
  <span>Days pass, and then weeks. The storm doesn’t show any sign of lessening. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Is this it?” Bellamy asks one day, staring aimlessly at the world outside.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What do you mean?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are we going to die here?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Murphy sighs. Before, he’d have tried to convince Bellamy they were fine, but now he knows better than to try to lie to him. “Yeah, maybe.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bellamy just nods. “For what it’s worth,” he says, “I’m glad you’re here with me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The howling wind outside fills the silence, and he smiles. “Yeah,” he agrees. “Me, too.”</span>
</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>
  <span>Two months into their confinement in the cave, Murphy goes to sleep, only to wake back up again - except, something’s different. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He could have sworn he’d fallen asleep close to the mouth of the cave, Bellamy across from him, but when his eyes open he’s standing at the very back, in the same place the glowing lights are, except the lights are nowhere to be seen. He looks around and can’t find Bellamy anywhere, either. It’s then he realizes that his hair and beard, that had now both grown far too long since he had no way to cut it, is back to the way it was when they first landed on this planet. His clothes, too, look exactly the same as they did on that day. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“A dream,” he says to himself, attempting to ease the unsettlement in his bones. “Great. That’s great.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s not a dream, John.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The voice catches him off guard and he whirls around, eyes widening as he sees who’s behind him. Thelonius Jaha stands in the cave, tall and proud, despite having died over a hundred years ago. He looks healthy and happy, a warm smile on his face and a light in his eyes as he looks at Murphy. “If you’re here,” Murphy says, “then it’s definitely a dream.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jaha chuckles. “Is that so?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hate to break it to you,” he says, “but you’re dead.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s true,” Jaha agrees. “My body is not here, no. My spirit, however - that is an entirely different matter.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Is it, now?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jaha still smiles, despite his hostility. “Faith is the true weapon, John,” he says. “I tried to teach you that, a long time ago. If you have that, you can beat anything.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Murphy chuckles dryly, shaking his head in disbelief. “Really? So, what - because you had some faith, you now get to roam around this planet forever? Is that what you’re trying to sell me on?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>For a moment, Jaha looks disappointed, but he recovers quickly. “You’ve come far,” he says. “You’ve got a ways to go yet, but your eyes are opening. You’re ready to begin your journey.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Seems you haven’t been watching too closely, then,” he says. “We’ve been climbing the mountain for a while, now. Seems we’re already pretty far on our journey.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You try so hard to deny the truth,” Jaha says with a sigh. “You always have.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Murphy rolls his eyes. “Seeing as how this is a dream,” he says, “I don’t really care.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You don’t?” Jaha asks. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He hums. “I am not the only one here to see you - perhaps they will have some more luck in convincing you to take the first step than I will.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, sure,” Murphy says. “Who have you got for me?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jaha gestures to his right, and Murphy follows his gaze, breath hitching when he sees them. They weren’t standing there seconds ago, but now in the centre of the room stands his mother and father, side by side, loving smiles on their faces. The lights that were once in the cave return behind them, enveloping them in a golden glow. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He hesitates, but then - “Mom? Dad?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Murphy waits, and he waits, and he waits. They say nothing. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“The light is the way,” Jaha says, softly. “Go to the light, John. Then you will understand.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t understand anything,” he whispers, softly, unable to tear his eyes away from the image of his parents, who only stare blankly back at him. “What’s the point of all this?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Go to the light,” he repeats, “and you will understand. You will have the potential to be with them again. You just need </span>
  <em>
    <span>faith</span>
  </em>
  <span>.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The worst part is, Murphy thinks, is that he’d like to believe it. He would. How easy it would be to give himself up to this dream, this fantasy, of reuniting with his parents as they were when they were alive and loved each other. But - it’s not the reality. He can’t have that, as much as he wants it, no matter how much ‘faith’ he has. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>If they were to say anything to him, anything at all, the illusion would be shattered, he realizes this. His father’s in space. His mother’s last words to him were that he was responsible for it. If they were to say anything else to him, it’d be clear they weren’t his real parents. He knows better than that, even if he so, so desperately wishes he didn’t. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know why I’m dreaming this,” he says, “but the answer isn’t faith. Not faith alone. That doesn’t get anybody anywhere.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Doesn’t it?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Pure faith is blindness,” he snaps, and then he tears his gaze away from his parents, from the light behind them, one single tear falling from his eye that he furiously wipes away. “It’s cruel to pretend otherwise.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jaha, for the first time, seems sad. “You haven’t experienced it, not yet. But you can.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I could,” he says, “but I could do this, too.” He leans down, grabs a rock from the cave floor, and with one final second of grief, tosses it at the light. He watches as it soars through the air, slicing through it. As it makes contact, the light expands and expands outwards, swallowing the image of his parents first, and then Jaha, illuminating the entire cave in a golden glow and then - </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He wakes up. He’s back in the front of the cave. His hair is too long and his clothes are worn and tattered, but he’s never been happier to look across the cave and see Bellamy sitting there. The storm outside even seems to be lessening in its intensity. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Murphy’s about to speak, to say anything to break the silence, but then he sees the mournful expression on Bellamy’s face and he stops. “What’s on your mind?” he asks. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bellamy’s silent, for a while. “I just had a dream,” he says, quietly. “It’s sitting with me. Don’t worry about it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“A dream,” Murphy repeats, looking back into the cave at where the golden lights are. “You didn’t happen to see your parents in it, did you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The effect of his words is instant. Bellamy snaps his attention over to him, a fire in his eye. “How do you know that?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Because I had one, too,” he says. “Jaha was there, and he showed me my parents, and he wanted me to go into the light.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bellamy’s quiet for a second, but then he lets out a breath. “I saw Cadogan,” he says, “and my mom. They asked me to go into the light, too.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Did you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No,” he says. “You weren’t there.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Murphy blinks, not expecting this. He doesn’t know what to say, so he doesn’t say anything in regards to that at all. “If we had the same dream,” he says, “then the lights, whatever they are, must be affecting us.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Maybe,” Bellamy agrees, “but I don’t think we have to worry about that.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“The storm is breaking,” he says. “We should be good to go soon.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Murphy looks out at the snow, now falling in a less intense frequency. “That’s great news!” he cries, laughing. “Why aren’t you happy about this?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I am.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Bellamy,” he says, fixing him with a look, “I thought we’d been over this whole lying thing.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He laughs, quietly. “Alright, fine. I </span>
  <em>
    <span>am</span>
  </em>
  <span> happy, I just - I don’t know. I’m just thinking about what could have been, I guess.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Murphy can’t exactly chastise him for this. He, too, does it often. “I get that,” he says. “Do your thinking, then. When the storm breaks, we’ll head out.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay,” he agrees, and then, “Murphy, you didn’t say - did you go to the light? In your dream?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He hesitates, pursing his lips as he thinks about what he could say. “No,” he finally replies. After all, they were already over the whole ‘lying thing.’ “You weren’t there, so - no.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bellamy doesn’t say anything, and Murphy doesn’t wait to see what his reaction is, but he thinks he smiles. </span>
</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>
  <span>The storm breaks, in a stroke of luck. They make it up the rest of the path, and Murphy thinks they’re going to be just fine, until the path ends entirely and they’re faced with yet another vertical rock wall - except, this one is so tall it stretches above the clouds, and neither of them have gotten any better at climbing. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“The storm could come back at any moment,” Bellamy says with a sigh, gazing upwards. “We’ve got to do this now if we’re going to do it at all.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You and I have a bad history with cliffs,” Murphy points out, but he can’t argue it. “You sure about this?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bellamy smiles, the familiar determination back in his gaze. “We have to,” he says. “Can’t beat the shepherd unless we make it up there.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Right,” Murphy agrees with a laugh. “That’s all that matters.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah. That’s all that matters,” Bellamy says, but there’s more behind it, and he’s staring at Murphy with the softest, most tender expression. He’s about to ask him what he means, what he’s not saying, but then Bellamy tears his gaze away and gets back to business. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>As always - they carry onwards. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>They tie themselves together with the rope best they can, and then they set off. Bellamy’s eager to make it up, he can tell, and Murphy’s eager for them both to not die, so he doesn’t complain. The rock wall is steep, but there are enough handholds for them both to grab onto. Though the wind slices against their backs and the air only gets colder as they climb up, they manage to make steady progress. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We’re close!” Bellamy calls back after a long while. Murphy’s muscles strain as he pulls himself up, again and again, but he keeps moving. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Above him, Bellamy makes it to a ledge and pulls himself up, panting heavily. Murphy knows this means he doesn’t have long to go, which is good for them both, but he can’t think about that now, not yet. He grabs another handhold, puts his foot in another, and - </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The rock beneath his foot slides out, and then his foot is flying free. The momentum forces him to lose his grip and his hands slide right off the cliff, and he’s falling, free and fast, the rope the only thing catching him from being lost to the clouds below. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Around his waist, the rope tightens, and he looks up in shock. Bellamy’s holding it tight and fast. Murphy’s stunned, for a second, and then he remembers the situation he’s in and scrambles back to find something to hold onto on the cliff. To his horror, his fingers can’t find anything to grasp and his feet keep dangling free. “I can’t get hold!” he calls, breath quickening as he realizes exactly what this means. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bellamy grunts, holding on tight as he starts to pull on the rope. The edge of it catches across the edge of the cliff, fraying the rope even as he pulls. “I got you!” he calls, digging in his heels as he pulls. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No!” Murphy calls. There’s a tear in his eye that’s not from the cold. “Cut me loose, Bell! You have to cut me loose!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hold on!” Bellamy cries, completely ignoring him. “I got you, okay, so hold on!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Cut me loose, or we </span>
  <em>
    <span>both</span>
  </em>
  <span> die!” he shouts, still scrambling to find a handhold and coming up empty. “Go, Bellamy! Save our friends!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bellamy’s eyes are full of an emotion he doesn’t yet understand. “We are doing this together,” he says, repeating the very same thing he told him back when they first got to Etherea, back in the very first cave they’d stayed in, “or not at all! You hear me?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Murphy shakes his head, the tears building. It’s the end for him. It is, but he’d rather go out here, ensuring Bellamy’s survival, then be responsible for both their deaths. “Cut me loose, Bellamy,” he whispers, a quiet goodbye to a world that he’d always tried to be loud in the face of. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>There’s a pause, and he thinks he really might do it, but then - “No. Not without you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Bell, </span>
  <em>
    <span>please</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” he says, but then the rope is moving, and Bellamy’s </span>
  <em>
    <span>roaring </span>
  </em>
  <span>over the wind as he pulls with all his strength. The rope frays against the cliff wall, but he pulls nonetheless, never hesitating for even a moment. Murphy rises, coming closer to the ledge. He climbs the rope as Bellamy pulls, gaining ground. Maybe he can do this. Maybe they both can do this, maybe - </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The rope snaps. Murphy falls. It’s over, and then - </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It’s not. “I got you!” Bellamy cries, and there’s a hand on his wrist. Murphy lets out a cry, of shock and relief, and then he clambers up, grabbing Bellamy’s hand and the ledge itself for support. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He’s over the edge. He’s on solid ground, the rope fallen to the clouds below. They’re both alive. “You idiot,” Murphy whispers. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Saved your life.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He lets out an incredulous breath. “Call it even?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bellamy laughs, standing and pulling Murphy up with him. “Always.” As they stand on the ledge, the rest of the world below them and the mountain top only a small ways away, something changes in the air between them. “I meant it, you know,” Bellamy says. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Meant what?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s us, together, or not at all.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Murphy smiles. “You’re right. We couldn’t have done this without each other.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, but that’s - that’s not what I mean.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His chest tightens. He knows, he thinks, and he - well, he doesn’t know what to say to that, but the adrenaline is still in his veins and he feels brave. “What do you mean?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bellamy swallows, his anxiety obvious despite having just done a heroic act. “I mean,” he says, slowly, “I don’t want to do this alone. I don’t want to do </span>
  <em>
    <span>any</span>
  </em>
  <span> of this without you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Bellamy-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Listen to me, Murphy,” he says, and then they’re only inches apart. The wind howls, but standing close together they feel separated from that - Etherea and all its demons are out there, and they are there, together, ready to face it all. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Maybe his suspicions were right, and they are in hell - but if they are, Murphy doesn’t think he minds. “I am.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t want to do this,” he says, “not without </span>
  <em>
    <span>you</span>
  </em>
  <span>.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He exhales, shakily. “You won’t have to,” he says. “You’ve got me, okay?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bellamy’s eyes fill with light. “Yeah?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He smiles, and then looks away, but the light never leaves. “That’s - I’m glad. I’m really glad.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Murphy nods, still feeling brave in the moment. They both look like a mess, after all this time, but he reaches out a hand anyways and puts it on Bellamy’s cheek, pulling his gaze back to his own. As he stares into his eyes, he thinks he understands what Jaha meant when he said </span>
  <em>
    <span>go to the light. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>He leans forwards, and their lips meet. It’s cold, and the landscape around them is broken and wild, but here, right now, Etherea is beautiful. </span>
</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>
  <span>After that, it doesn’t take long for them to make it up the rest of the mountain. Right at the top, sitting all on its own, is the anomaly stone, an exact replica of the ones he’d seen on Sanctum and Bardo. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You have the book?” Murphy asks, and Bellamy nods, pulling it out. He flips to the back, where the list of symbols and their meanings is laid out, and then he approaches the stone, slowly pressing down one symbol at a time as he enters the code to take them back to Bardo. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bellamy presses the last symbol, gently lowering down the book. Above them, up in the sky that’s now littered with stars, the green light appears. It circles downwards, and Murphy wonders if it will come directly to them, but then it keeps going down, heading beneath the clouds and to the bottom of the mountain. He leans over the edge, gazing downwards, where the flickering green is just visible. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s down there,” he calls to Bellamy, both of them with horror in their eyes. “The anomaly, it’s - it’s down there.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How are we supposed to get down there?” Bellamy cries, coming over next to him. They stand beside each other, leaning over the mountain, in desperate hope that the anomaly will come back up to them - but it never does. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>An idea comes to Murphy, then, but after all they went through to climb up the mountain, it feels almost cruel - and far from guaranteed. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Pure faith is blindness, </span>
  </em>
  <span>he’d said to Jaha, and it’s somewhat laughable that he’s now considering breaking that rule. “We jump,” he says. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bellamy just blinks at him. “What?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We jump,” he repeats. “There’s no other way down.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s - don’t be stupid,” Bellamy says. “There’s no way to know that works, or if the anomaly even </span>
  <em>
    <span>is</span>
  </em>
  <span> down there. We don’t know how this works. That could be anything!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Murphy shakes his head. “What else are we supposed to do?” he cries. “That’s our only option to save our friends!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You told me we can’t save them if we’re dead,” he says. “That’s still true!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“This is different.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Murphy, I - we’ve survived here for so long. We can wait a little longer!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Really, Murphy wishes he was being the logical one in this argument, but he can’t shake his certainty. “This is our only choice,” he says. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bellamy looks down again, then back at him. “I don’t want to lose you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You won’t.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, I don’t want to lose you, not right after we got here! Not right after...after all this!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Murphy understands, he does, so he reaches forwards and grabs Bellamy’s hand in his own, holding it tighter than anything else. “I’m not going, not without you,” he says, “so we go together, or not at all.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>There’s still pain and uncertainty in Bellamy’s eyes, but after a pause, he nods. “Okay,” he says. “Together.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“After all,” Murphy says, “we still have a shepherd to beat, or have you forgotten?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bellamy laughs, and it is beautiful. “Okay,” he says. “Okay. We can do this.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We can do this,” he agrees, and then they hold their hands together, and in one smooth movement, they fall off the mountaintop and into the green light below. </span>
</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>He falls, a bright light all around him. He falls, a soul always destined for hell, but with a hand in his own and a warmth in his chest he knows now that destinies are not set in stone. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>He falls, and he falls, and he falls, but he can be destined for happiness, too. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>He falls, until his hands hit a solid ground and somehow, he’s fine. Bellamy’s next to him. They’re back in the same white room they had been all that time ago, the anomaly stone on this planet next to them, the green light fading to nothingness behind them. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We did it,” he whispers, and then he’s getting to his feet, pulling Bellamy up with him. “We did it!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We made it,” Bellamy cries, throwing his arms around Murphy and pulling him in for an embrace. They’re tired, and cold, and their bodies have been pushed to their limits, but Murphy’s never felt any better. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>As always, the moment is shattered by someone else’s arrival. “Bellamy Blake and John Murphy,” a voice says. “Welcome back.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>They both look over to their left, seeing a man that is all too familiar enter. Bellamy tenses, and Murphy’s eyes narrow. Cadogan looks nearly the same as he did in the photograph they’d found back in the cave, except now he wears a long white robe and a smug expression that annoys Murphy to his core. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Pilgrims from Etherea,” he continues. “How exciting! I want to know everything.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bellamy’s about to speak, but Murphy shakes his head. “One question,” he says, and Cadogan seems genuinely interested. “Are you the shepherd?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Cadogan’s eyes crinkle and he smiles, bowing his head in greeting. “Some call me that, yes.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Murphy nods, stepping forwards, hands behind his back. “Great,” he says, moving forwards still. He stares at the older man for a second, and then before Cadogan can prepare himself, he punches him in the face with all the force he’s got. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Cadogan staggers backwards in shock. Behind him, Bellamy laughs. “We’re not pilgrims,” he says, glancing back at Bellamy with a wink, “we’re pioneers - and we beat you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bellamy’s back at his side, then, and he looks over at him with a smile. “Come on,” he says. “Let’s save our friends.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They don’t have a plan. They barely even know where they are, but it doesn’t matter. Hand in hand, they carry onwards, still - together, or not at all. </span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>AHHH okay i hope you all liked it!! i'm proud of the way this turned out, so i hope you all like how it went. please don't hesitate to let me know any of your thoughts! </p><p>i would like to take a second to send a special thank you to charlie (blueparacosm) and oog (oogaboogu)!! charlie's the mastermind responsible behind the "murphy throws a rock at the glowing light" (inspiration from this was taken from a tweet of theirs, @slugcities), and they and oog all read over parts of this fic and were so, so encouraging always. i owe both of them all my gratitude. you're both incredible. showstoppers. love you guys. </p><p>as always, i am on twitter @reidsnora. thanks again!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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